"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have."
I walked into my dining room today, sat at my computer and I realized for the first time in quite a while, that I am content. I’m not sure what triggered the thought...but glad that I had it.
I’m exhausted, to be truthful. I find myself exhausted often. I have 3 very large responsibilities (Livi Lou, Tarter Sauce and Cars McGarse)...2 part time jobs and I am doing the best I can to maintain some balance. Laundry, dishes, paying bills, taking care of my children, mopping the sticky floors, and the dust bunnies (THEY ARE HUGE). Hey... as long as we are talking about housework…it's just going to have to keep multiplying unless a housekeeping goddess lands on my doorstep to help a girl out. Some balls...yes some balls...just have to be dropped.
At any rate, in the middle of the chaos, somewhere…I’ve found my version of contentment. Little things that just make me...happy. Part of me wonders if I’m just sooooo busy that I can’t think about anything outside of "RIGHT NOW". If I did, I might go a little crazy. But I like it here; content…in the middle of a chaotic...busy life. Taking everything in stride and actually feeling okay about a few decisions I have made lately. Notice I said...OK.
There once was a time (not that long ago) when I felt angry and down right mad for not "getting" to do what I wanted because of this silly responsibility thing called adulthood. This is what I think...all things are permissible, but are all things beneficial? If I took a good hard look at all the things I have allowed into my life in my past, I wonder how many things actually made my life harder, but were disguised as something good? I won’t look back!! I can't. Today is a new day... and I look forward to a pinch more wisdom than I had yesterday....or maybe a truckload.
While still busy juggling, when it comes right down to the necessities, if there are not a bunch of other things tugging at me, I’m actually able to focus on my life. I’m surprised, really, that right now I’m not losing my marbles with so much on my plate.
Taking things in stride is helped greatly by not having a lot of extra-curricular activities. I know a HUGE shocker...I don't get out much. I don't know...perhaps I’m really an introvert whose been trying for way too long to be an extrovert…and it just doesn’t work? I’m lovin' the solitude. Just me and my kids right now. What I do have is them singing songs all day; making play-doh objects; stepping on legos; dancing to my ipod; playing in the bathroom toilet; Carter running around in just his underwear; wet spots in the bathroom; doing art projects; helping me bake things; jumping on the couch even though they have been told no; etc, etc, etc. Pretty sure my kids are extroverts because of me!! But anyways…they are MY beautiful noise and a wonderful distraction. I’ve learned to be able to concentrate with them. I wouldn’t be able to concentrate much if they were not here. Funny how that happens isn't it?
I'm going to sit back...and try to enjoy the little things in life that make me so incredibly CONTENT.
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