T is for...Today!

T is for…Today!

October 15^th is Stillborn and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. In the US and Canada this day is set aside to remember and honor those babies that have been lost due to miscarriage, SIDS, complications in pregnancy and ectopic pregnancy.

I am sure that there are a lot of moms and dads out there that we don’t even know about who have suffered a loss. Some choose to talk about their loss while others choose to keep it inside. I am not saying that either way is the “right” way. I just want people to be sensitive to both ways.

On this day, we are all asked to light a candle to remember these babies.

Today I was feeling bad for myself.

Recently I have begun to worry about my weight gain with this pregnancy. I was told that it is typical to gain upwards of 60 pounds with twins. That’s a lot!

I decided to torture myself today and try on a pair of jeans that I had shoved to the back of my closet. I will not make that mistake again. I was in tears as I pulled the jeans up to my butt…and that was where they stopped. It was just a few months ago that I was wearing them!

There are so many side effects that a woman’s body goes through that are rather quite frightening.

On the flip side, it gives me chills when I go to the doctor and hear two amazing heart beats…and now as I am starting to feel their movements.

As I stood there and starred at myself in the mirror I realized something. I am carrying 2 babies. I am doing something that some women never have the chance to do. I am doing something that has been taken away from so many people.

Pregnancy is truly a miracle.

Am I getting big?…yes.

Am I seeing the scale move up, up, up?…yes.

Will I get stretch marks in places I didn’t know stretch marks could happen?…yes.

Will I be able to carry and hold and love the most amazing gift that God can give someone?…yes.

I don’t like being pregnant…but that doesn’t mean that I don’t love my unborn children unconditionally.

So, I backed away from the mirror, hoisted up my adjustable waistband pants and moved on for the day. The cute jeans will stay at the back of my closet…maybe forever. It doesn’t matter. I realized today…after having 3 children…that it doesn’t matter.

I started lighting my candle today. I know…I am a day early. However, it is NEVER too early to remember the babies that people have lost.

I am a lucky woman. I will cherish my gifts from God. I will love my body as it progresses.

John 10:10 sums up my thoughts: “I have come that they may have life and have it abundantly.”

I ask you to please light a candle on October 15^th to remember the sweet babies that we don’t get to hold. And also their families that were never able to have them.

My mom always says that God only gives us babies on loan. I believe that.